Small Group - Chapter 3

9-14-10

3. How does someone’s physical appearance (i.e. clothing, hairstyle, body shape and size, posture, etc.) affect your perception of and feelings about that person?

I would like to say that a person’s physical appearance does not affect my perception of a person, but that would definitely be a lie! I do find, however, that my perception of people based on their appearance may still be “not typical”.

For example, where most people would be turned away by a person who might be labeled “alternative”, I tend to have more respect for them! I recognize their free spirits, and their willingness to go against the norms of society. Another example is how I view people who struggle with their weight. Unfortunately, too many people write them off as “fat” or “ugly”, and refuse to respect them. I find, however, that I am willing to respect them if they respect themselves. If a man or women has enough respect for themselves to dress properly, instead of giving up and dressing sloppily, then it is very easy for me to respect them just as easily as a person that has never struggled with their weight. In fact, I am probably more willing to view them with more respect than others, because they choose to take care of themselves, and present themselves well instead of choosing the easy way out.

As for the general public, my perception of people is often based off of their physical appearance. A person dressed in a full suit I would perceive to be very serious about their job. A person dressed comfortably, though still very nice, I would perceive to be confident and comfortably in their environment. If a person is dressed sloppy at a workplace or in public, I am going to perceive them as a person who does not care much about themselves, let alone their job, or their surroundings.

In general, I tend to read a lot into people’s physical appearance. My general philosophy is that if you have enough respect for yourself to present yourself in a certain way to the public, then I will respect you as a person in return. If you cannot respect yourself, however, then it will be much harder for me to respect you.


5. When a member’s verbal and nonverbal signals are inconsistent, what do you usually do, and why?

I definitely am more inclined to pay more attention to nonverbal signals over verbal signals, especially if they are inconsistent! A person’s nonverbal signs are much more instinctual, whereas verbal signals can be purposefully changed and falsified. For example, if a customer comes into the coffee shop and orders a drink, and tells me that it is very good, but gags every time they take a sip, I am definitely going to believe their nonverbal signals over their verbal. They may be trying to not hurt my feelings, but I can obviously see for myself that the drink does not taste good at all!