Chapter 8

· Go to the website http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Hartwell1.html http://www.austincc.edu/colangelo/1311/relationalcommtest.htm

Take the relationship quiz (if not currently in a relationship base answers on past relationship). Also, take the relational communication quiz.

Do you believe the results are accurate? What do you think about relationship quizzes?

I thought that both of these tests were almost amusing to take. This is mostly because it has been 11 months since my ex and I broke up, after dating for almost 2 years! Both of the quizzes did, however, shed some light on my relationship with him. It also makes me wish I had taken them about 1 ½ - 2 years ago, to save me some trouble!

In the first quiz, I scored a 32, which landed under the “Caution” category. I couldn’t help but laugh at the parts where it said “your long-term success is in question now. It's time to work on those respect and communication issues.” As I said before, if only I had taken this quiz a few years ago, when I might have been able to apply what I was learning!

On the second quiz, I scored a 26 out of 60. This, again, would place me into the middle category, or barely into the “good” category. My biggest problem areas were supportiveness, positiveness, confidence, and expressiveness. Looking back, I would agree with these results. It will be interesting to see how I can apply what I’m learning to any future relationships!

· Go to the website http://valueprep.com/relationship-maintenance.html

Read the article on relationship maintenance. What is your opinion of this article? How do you feel about your ability to maintain relationships?

This article makes several good points about relationship maintenance. One thing that I thought was really important was to invest more time into maintaining your family relationships, and then have an understanding with all other relationships. I think that this is so important, because your family should be a constant in your life, and you should be a constant in their life. If you are being pulled away by other relationships, however, it puts a huge strain on your relationship with your family. I have had a lot of experience with this problem since I came to college, and have found the incredible importance of family over friendships. Friendships come and go, but family is for forever.

Now, just because I have come to realize and recognize this important fact about relationship management does not necessarily mean that I have come to master it! Even to this day, after struggling with this issue for three years, I still have problems managing relationships! I am constantly battling with myself and others over how much time and effort to invest in each relationship.

It has become even more complicated this year with the addition of my new “best friend”. This truly makes things even harder than before, because I have to figure out how to give Ashley and Josh equal time and attention, but still give them more than I do my casual friends. And of course, all of this must be done in light of the time and attention that my family requires. With the recent circumstances in Haiti, and with my family moving from Haiti to Mississippi, and then on to Alabama, my time has been almost completely consumed by just my family!

It is sad to say, but I have not done a very good job of maintaining any of my relationships this past school year. I know for a fact that there were times where I chose one person over another, when it should have been the other way around. Or when I should have gone “home”, but chose to stay and be with my friends instead. I am hoping that I can use my newfound knowledge of relationship maintenance to help me juggle my many relationships in the years to come!

· Go to the website http://www.oaktreecounseling.com/giver%20or%20taker.htm

Take the quiz. Are you a giver or a taker? Did you anticipate the results? Why or why not?

Well. Thanks to the lovely William Carey Internet system, I was unable to access this quiz. The results I was anticipating to find were certainly not fulfilled when my computer told me my access was denied because the website was categorized as “porn”!

On the other hand, the result I WAS expecting to find was that I am a giver~ In most situations, I have been generally known to give twice as quickly as I am to take. Most of my joy in life comes from giving to other people, in various ways. For instance, seeing Josh’s face light up when he realized I made him a CD of all of his favorite songs for his birthday was the highlight of my week, last Friday. Another example would be that my coworkers have always known if they needed someone to cover for them, whether it be for a few minutes or a whole shift, to call me! As I said before, most of my joy in life comes from doings things for people to make their day just a little bit better! J